MOTHER COLLAGES,
2O22
I mixed photographs I'd taken of myself and of my mother to express the grief I can feel when noticing the resemblance between us, physically and mentally.
For a while after I cut her out of my life I didn't allow myself to associate myself with her within myself. For example, if I noticed that I looked like her when I was dancing I'd stop, because I felt guilty and I'd remember "what I'd done to her".
Forgetting isn't always the answer though. I realized that I am actually allowed to cherish the parts of myself that are her, because they are me too. Her heritage and legacy will be cherished and honored even if she's not there to witness it, and that's ok.
This project is a collection of collages that inform each other.
The portraits were taken in 2020 when I felt closer to my mother than ever before, and I wanted to commemorate that through some pictures.
These photos serve a completely different purpose now.
This was a mere four months before I cut contact with her.
It's fascinating how a person fades in our minds yet stays crystal clear at the same time. I was the one who ghosted, and I have gained a haunting in return.
I am continuously performing exorcisms yet don't want my ghost to leave. Is she my captive now?